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🧡 SUBJECT: How to Be Present for Your Partner (when you’re stuck in the middle)

Stuck in the Middle — Issue 224 — Monday, October 20, 2025

👋 Welcome

If you’re new here: this is your two-times-a-week reset for people caring for parents, raising kids, keeping a job or business afloat—and trying to show up for their partner without burning out.
Reply SUBSCRIBE if someone forwarded this to you.

🧠 Big Thought: Presence > Perfection

When life pulls you in four directions, your partner doesn’t need a superhero—they need a steady 10 minutes of true presence. Presence means attention without multitasking, listening without fixing, and a simple “I’m here” without defensiveness. It beats grand gestures every time.

🧰 Money Moves (fast, free, step-by-step)

1. 90-Second Reset before any hard convo
   Do one round of box breathing: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4 (repeat 3–4 times).
   Cleveland Clinic how-to: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/box-breathing-benefits Cleveland Clinic

2. “State of Us” (15 minutes, once a week)
   Timer on. Each gets 5 minutes to share highs/lows; 2 minutes to list the week’s friction points; 3 minutes to pick ONE fix. No debating history—only next steps. Use prompts from the free Gottman app (see Tool of the Week). Gottman Institute

3. Logistics Lane, Love Lane
   Create a shared calendar for appointments/kid runs/parent care so your couple time stops becoming a scheduling meeting. Keep a separate “Love Lane” (no logistics allowed).
   How to share Google Calendar: https://support.google.com/calendar/answer/37082?hl=en Google Help

4. Care Plan = Fewer 11pm Surprises
   Download a free care-plan template so both of you know who’s doing what for Mom/Dad this week.
   CDC Complete Care Plan: https://www.cdc.gov/caregiving/guidelines/index.html CDC

5. Guilt Script (say it verbatim)
   “I’m noticing guilt about not doing enough. I want to be present with you for 10 minutes now and revisit the rest Friday.” (Naming guilt reduces its power; scheduling gives it a container.) Background on caregiver emotions: https://www.apa.org/pi/about/publications/caregivers/practice-settings/common-problems American Psychological Association

🛠️ Tool of the Week (free)

Gottman Card Decks — science-backed conversation prompts you can use tonight at the table or during a short walk.
iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/gottman-card-decks/id1292398843
Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?hl=en_US&id=com.carddecks
About the app: https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/ Apple+2Google Play+2

📰 Reads (all free, no paywalls)

• Keeping balance when caregiving for a spouse: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/spousal-caregiver-relationship-advice/ AARP

• Effective communication you can use tonight: https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/communication/effective-communication HelpGuide.org

• Caregiver emotions (including guilt): https://www.apa.org/pi/about/publications/caregivers/practice-settings/common-problems American Psychological Association

🤝 SKOOL COMMUNITY

Meet people living the same juggle. Share what’s working, get ideas, and vent without judgment.
https://www.skool.com/stuck-in-the-middle-community-1730/about?ref=4956bcfb588b4962b89c23002360ff83

💬 Connect With People Who Get It

Caregiving can feel isolating — and so can relationship stress.
Join our private Facebook group to talk to others who truly understand.

👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/stuckinthemiddlenews

💸 TOOLS YOU CAN USE

Feeling crushed by the to-do list? Grab the What Can I Let Go Of? Checklist ($9.99). It pays for itself the first week you stop doing 3 low-value tasks.
https://briansacks.samcart.com/products/sandwich

💬 Reply & Engage

What’s one tiny ritual that helps you be present for your partner (even on chaotic days)? Hit reply—I’ll compile the best ones for Thursday’s issue.

↗️ Share the Relief

Know another “stuck in the middle” friend who needs this nudge? Forward this issue. Two minutes from you might save them an hour this week.

P.S.

If guilt is your constant background noise, pair the Guilt Script (above) with a 5-minute breathing break and a scheduled “State of Us.” Consistency beats intensity.