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📰 Stuck in the Middle – Issue 220

🤝🧭 The Sibling Summit: A 60-Minute Family Meeting to End Resentment & Share the Load

Stuck in the Middle — Issue 220 — Monday, October 6, 2025

👋 Welcome

If you’re caring for parents and kids while working and trying to keep your relationship steady, you’re home. Today we’ll run a Sibling Summit—a one-hour family meeting with a script, so care isn’t all on you (and guilt doesn’t run the show). If this was forwarded to you, reply SUBSCRIBE and I’ll add you.

🧠 Big Thought: Clarity Beats “Shoulds”

Most caregiver blowups aren’t about who cares more—they’re about unclear roles and unspoken rules. A structured family meeting with simple ground rules turns “Why am I doing everything?” into a shared plan you can all follow. Research-backed guides agree: include the right people, pick decisions in advance, and leave with assignments and dates. Caregiver+1

🧰 Money Moves (Run Your Sibling Summit in 60 Minutes)

Goal: Leave with a written plan, dates, and owners.

Prep (10 min):

• Invite anyone who will help (siblings, partners, adult grandkids, close friends). Share a 1-page agenda and a list of decisions (transportation, meds, finances, respite). Caregiver

• If tensions are high, consider a neutral facilitator (social worker, clergy). Easton Alzheimer's Research Center

Meeting Agenda (45 min):

1. Ground Rules (5 min).

   • One person speaks at a time.

   • Assume good intent.

   • We’re here to share the load, not score points.

2. Facts First (10 min).

   • Conditions, meds, clinicians, upcoming appointments. (Use “care plan” basics.) AARP

3. Top 3 Decisions (15 min).

   • Rides (who/when), Meds (who refills/sorts), Finances (who pays which bills).

   • For memory/communication challenges, adopt brief, concrete strategies. National Institute on Aging

4. Assign & Calendar (10 min).

   • Put names next to tasks + dates.

   • Schedule a 15-minute weekly check-in (same day/time).

5. Close (5 min).

   • Confirm next meeting date.

   • Capture open items and who’s on point.

After (5 min):

• Share notes in one folder (cloud or text thread).

• Drop in a self-care step for you (mini-respite on the calendar). Short stress-management practices are proven to help. Harvard Health

Copy-Paste Scripts:

• Invite: “I need help creating a plan for Mom. Can we meet for 60 minutes Sunday 4–5 pm on Zoom to divide tasks and set a schedule?”

• Boundary: “I can manage meds and bills this month. I can’t do weekday rides. Can you cover Tuesdays and Thursdays, or should we hire help?”

• Stuck Loop: “Let’s park that for the last 5 minutes. Right now we’re deciding rides for October.”

🛠️ Tool of the Week: Family Caregiver Alliance — Holding a Family Meeting

Step-by-step guide (who to invite, what to decide, how to keep the peace). Free and practical.
https://www.caregiver.org/resource/holding-family-meeting/ Caregiver

📰 Reads (all free, no paywalls)

1. AARP: How to Run a Family Caregiving Meeting — consensus tips and agenda ideas.
   https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/family-meeting-for-caregiving/ AARP

2. VA Caregiver Support Line: Handouts & Self-Care Topics — printable one-pagers for common caregiver struggles.
   https://www.caregiver.va.gov/support-line/handouts.asp Caregiver VA

3. Harvard Health: Relief for Caregiver Burnout (2025) — current, actionable stress-relief steps.
   https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/relief-for-caregiver-burnout Harvard Health

🤝 SKOOL COMMUNITY

Daily support, templates, and Q&A with people who get it.
https://www.skool.com/stuck-in-the-middle-community-1730/about?ref=4956bcfb588b4962b89c23002360ff83

💬 Connect With People Who Get It

Caregiving can feel isolating — and so can relationship stress.
Join our private Facebook group to talk to others who truly understand.

👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/stuckinthemiddlenews

💸 TOOLS YOU CAN USE — $9.99 “What Can I Let Go Of?” Checklist

If your plate is overflowing, this worksheet helps you delegate, defer, or delete the time-stealers fueling resentment—perfect to pair with your Sibling Summit.
https://briansacks.samcart.com/products/sandwich

💬 Reply & Engage Prompt

Want my fillable Sibling Summit agenda + notes template as a PDF? Reply AGENDA and I’ll send it.

↗️ Share the Relief

Know a family that keeps arguing about care? Forward this and let them borrow your agenda.

P.S. Bonus

If your parent is a Veteran, your local VA Caregiver Support team can offer training, groups, and benefits navigation. Start here and click “Find Your Local Support Team.”
https://www.caregiver.va.gov/ Caregiver VA

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOKS YOU CAN READ IF YOU ARE FRUSTRATED WITH A PARENT OR OLDER RELATIVE

grab a copy here https://amzn.to/3QIhlx7

If you are in this situation I think you will enjoy it!