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Subject: 😌 How to Ditch the Guilt (Without Dropping the Ball)

Stuck in the Middle — Issue 225 — Thursday, October 23, 2025

👋 Welcome

If you’re caring for parents, raising kids, working a full-time job, and still trying to show up for your partner — you’re in the right place. I’m glad you’re here.
New? Reply SUBSCRIBE to get this twice a week.

🧠 Big Thought: Guilt Isn’t a Signal You’re Failing — It’s a Signal to Rebalance

Caregiver guilt (for not doing enough, not being patient enough, not being everywhere at once) spikes when your responsibilities outgrow your resources. Instead of asking “How do I do more?”, ask “What can I move, share, or stop?” Small boundary changes, a single respite resource, or clarifying what’s actually yours to carry often reduces guilt more than any motivational pep talk. You’re not behind — your load is simply bigger than one human. Let’s right-size it.

🧰 Money Moves (step-by-step)

1. Check your job-protected leave options.
   Read the U.S. Department of Labor’s FMLA overview to see if you’re eligible for up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave and how it works with your benefits:
   https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla DOL

2. Find local respite and support in 2 minutes.
   Enter your ZIP code in the Eldercare Locator (run by the U.S. Administration for Community Living) to discover respite care, transportation, and caregiver support groups near you:
   https://eldercare.acl.gov/home eldercare.acl.gov

3. Make a “Good-Enough Care Plan.”
   Use the National Institute on Aging’s caregiver self-care tips to set a 7-day, realistic routine (sleep/walk/one friend check-in). Copy three ideas that fit your life:
   https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/taking-care-yourself-tips-caregivers National Institute on Aging

4. Agree on a weekly boundary with your partner.
   Pick one recurring boundary (e.g., “no medical calls after 8 pm unless urgent”) and one connection ritual (15-minute debrief + 1 walk). Revisit weekly.

5. Automate a bill that stresses you out.
   Choose one recurring bill (pharmacy refill, co-pay, utility) and set up auto-pay or calendar reminders. Guilt drops when avoidable fires stop popping.

6. Name and delegate one task.
   Use Eldercare Locator to find a volunteer ride service or adult day program to offload a recurring errand one day per week:
   https://eldercare.acl.gov/home eldercare.acl.gov

🛠️ Tool of the Week

Eldercare Locator (free, nationwide) — Instantly find local respite, caregiver training, and support groups. You can also call or text 1-800-677-1116 if you prefer.
https://eldercare.acl.gov/home eldercare.acl.gov

📰 Reads (all free, no paywalls)

1. Overcome Caregiver Guilt — Practical mindset shifts and boundary tips from AARP.
   https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/overcome-caregiver-guilt/ AARP

2. Self-Care for Caregivers — Cleveland Clinic’s quick guide to easing stress without adding more to your plate.
   https://health.clevelandclinic.org/self-care-for-caregivers Cleveland Clinic

3. Taking Care of Yourself: Tips for Caregivers — National Institute on Aging’s evidence-based checklist.
   https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/taking-care-yourself-tips-caregivers National Institute on Aging

🤝 SKOOL COMMUNITY (free to join)

Find people who get it, swap playbooks, and borrow a little hope on hard days:
https://www.skool.com/stuck-in-the-middle-community-1730/about?ref=4956bcfb588b4962b89c23002360ff83

💬 Connect With People Who Get It

Caregiving can feel isolating — and so can relationship stress.
Join our private Facebook group to talk to others who truly understand.

👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/stuckinthemiddlenews

💸 TOOLS YOU CAN USE

Struggling to juggle everything? Grab the $9.99 “What Can I Let Go Of?” Checklist — a quick, ruthless declutter of tasks, bills, and obligations so you can breathe again:
https://briansacks.samcart.com/products/sandwich