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- š Stuck in the Middle... Stop Being STuck by using the 3 R Method
š Stuck in the Middle... Stop Being STuck by using the 3 R Method
Understanding this will make the process so much better
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š° Stuck in the Middle ā Issue #209
DateThursday, August 28, 2025
The Power of Read, Reflect, Respond: A Pathway to Growth and Change
I remember one afternoon in my office when a client sat across from me, tears in her eyes, trying to make sense of a major life transition. She had raised her children, built a career, and suddenly found herself asking, āWhat now?ā As I listened to her story, I was struck by how familiar it felt. Different details, different circumstances, but the same question I had heard from so many others over the years. After decades of listening, I realized that nearly everyone comes to a point where they long to pause, take stock, and find a way forward.
Thatās when the idea for my book, The 3 Rs of Growth and Change, began to take shape. I wanted to capture what I had seen work time and again in therapy, but in a way that people could carry with them outside the office. Over five decades of practice taught me that change often begins with three steps: reading something that stirs us, reflecting on how it connects to our own lives, and responding with an action, however small, that sets growth in motion. Read, Reflect, Respondāsimple, but powerful.
When I sat down to write, I didnāt want a book that demanded readers move chapter by chapter in a strict order. Life doesnāt work that way, so why should self-discovery? Instead, I wrote short essays that you can return to again and again. Some readers spend a week with one essay, others move more quickly. Thereās no right way to do it, only the way that meets you where you are. One reader told me it felt like āmental dental flossā, clearing out cluttered thoughts to make room for something new. Another said it gave her a sense of being understood and encouraged, even on the toughest days.
The stories in the book are drawn from everyday life, the kinds of experiences we all share but donāt always pause to consider. Each essay ends with a gentle nudge to reflect, sometimes on old patterns, sometimes on the influence of early memoriesāand then to respond in a way that feels right for you. Growth doesnāt always come in dramatic leaps. More often, itās found in the small choices, the tiny shifts in thinking or behavior that gradually open the door to change.
Writing The 3 Rs of Growth and Change was, in many ways, my way of keeping the conversation going with the countless people who have trusted me with their stories. I wanted to put those lessons into words, not as prescriptions, but as invitations. The book isnāt about telling you what to do, but about creating space for you to explore your own history, your own patterns, and your own future.
So why did I write it? Because I believe each of us deserves the chance to slow down, listen inward, and move toward the life we want to create. And because after so many years of hearing people ask, āWhat now?ā, I wanted to offer a companion that could whisper back, āHereās a place to begin.ā
Gloria Kay Vanderhorst, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and author with over three decades of clinical experience. Her latest book, The 3 Rs of Growth and Change, is a #1 Amazon bestseller that provides practical tools for personal transformation. Order your copy today on Amazon and begin your journey of growth and change.
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š¬ Connect With People Who Get It
Caregiving can feel isolating ā and so can relationship stress.
Join our private Facebook group to talk to others who truly understand.
Grab a copy of Dr Vanderhorst new book on Amazon
at https://amzn.to/45AtHzO
If you are in this situation I think you will enjoy it!

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