📰 Stuck in the Middle –

DateThursday, Jan 1 2026

💔 GET UNSTUCK, PART 1

Should You Move Your Parent or Let them Stay Home.
The Real Cost and Confidence Check by Mariam Parineh, Founder of VivaValet a Lifestyle Concierge built for Seniors and Caregivers

Every week I meet adult children who feel torn between two expensive, emotionally loaded paths: Move their parent to independent or assisted living, or try to maintain home life without losing themselves in the process. The truth is that staying home can be far more manageable than people assume when support is structured, coordinated and outsourced, not pieced together in crisis.

What It Really Costs To Stay Home With Support

Here is an example for a supported at home model. This is the typical bundle families build with VivaValet in Chicago:

Monthly home maintenance
Home cleaning
Weekly Meal prep Delivery or grocery delivery
Tech help twice a month and Scam Prevention
Medication delivery
Weekly Rides
A dedicated VivaValet concierge for scheduling, coordination, reminders, projects, planning, and check ins
Annual home inspection
* Does not include in-home care

Total: $199/ Month for VivaValet concierge and a total of approximately $2000.00/ month with services booked above (Depending on Frequency of Cleaning and Rides etc.)

Now compare that to independent or assisted living.
$5000.00 to $15,000/ month  is the norm, before care level increases and that does not include a dedicated concierge, rides, tech training and support or task coordination.

Most families realize the true decision is not home versus facility. It is unmanaged home life versus managed home life and the stress that falls on them. The silent question is, will I be doing this forever if they stay home?

How Supported Home Life Strengthens Confidence and Improved Independence

A coordinated home model protects the confidences that matter most:

• Spatial and Environmental Confidence: safer layout, predictable routines, fewer hazards.
• Emotional and Psychological Confidence: the strength of feeling you can still do it on your own and a consistent partnership to reduce friction

 • Identity Confidence: they remain who they are in the place they chose.
• Behavioral Confidence: fewer frustrations and more follow-through to routines to produce stronger daily autonomy.

The right support often delays or prevents premature moves because life stays workable.

Four Questions To Ask Yourself Today

1. The cost of moving them is more than five thousand dollars per month.
   

2. Do they require help with ADLs or already have in-home care?
   

3. Are you worried that if they stayed home you cannot keep them safe or handle all coordination alone.
   

4. Are they resistant to moving?
   

How To Read Your Answers

If you answered yes to 1,3, and 4 questions, it may not be time to move.
If you answered yes to #2 it might be time to consider in-home help (usually 2-5,000/ month additional depending on need)
If your parents are resistant, that is often a signal that identity and emotional confidence need protection, not removal and their psychological confidence is still high which is GREAT!

Just remember, you do have options. It starts with having a shared goal. Ask yourself, do you feel the responsibility of their life is in your hands?  When did you start feeling that? Could you become a partner in their desired quality of life instead? 

Special Offer for Stuck in the Middle Subscribers: $99/month Legacy Membership for VivaValet Concierge, only 50 made available. Mention Stuck in the Middle Podcast for Legacy offer. 

On average caregivers save 15 hours a month in planning and coordination for their senior loved ones!

Book your Discovery Call with a VivaValet Advisor (847) 474-9833 or visit us at vivavalet.com

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOKS YOU CAN READ IF YOU ARE FRUSTRATED WITH A PARENT OR OLDER RELATIVE

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If you are in this situation I think you will enjoy it!

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