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💸 Subject: When Every Dollar Has Three Jobs (And You’re Tired of Juggling)

Stuck in the Middle News — Issue #237 — December 8, 2025
For everyone caring for parents, raising kids, working, and trying to keep your relationship alive.

👋 Welcome, New (and Tired) Friends

If someone forwarded this to you, welcome to Stuck in the Middle News — your twice-weekly note for people caring for aging parents, raising kids, working, and still trying to have a life.

If you’d like to keep getting this, just reply to this email with the word: SUBSCRIBE and I’ll add you.

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE FREE COMMUNITY: Come Where People “Get It”

If you want a place to talk about this stuff with people who actually understand what it’s like to be stuck in the middle, come hang out here:

👉 https://www.skool.com/stuck-in-the-middle-community-1730/about?ref=4956bcfb588b4962b89c23002360ff83

We talk about:

• Caregiving burnout

• Money stress

• Relationship strain

• And tiny, doable wins — not perfect solutions

You’re invited.

🧠 Big Thought: The “Three-Job Dollar” Problem

If you’re stuck in the middle, every dollar has at least three jobs:

1. Take care of your parents.

2. Take care of your kids.

3. Take care of future you.

Recent research on the Sandwich Generation shows what you already feel: people in our situation are spending thousands per year out of pocket on caregiving — often around $8,000–$10,000 annually just on care-related costs. Caregiver Action Network+1

On top of that, newer reports in 2025 show many sandwich-generation caregivers are:

• Falling behind on emergency savings,

• Taking on more debt, and

• Pausing retirement contributions just to stay afloat. Modera Wealth Management+1

That’s the three-job dollar problem:

You’re not failing.
You’re just trying to do a three-person job with one person’s paycheck.

Today’s issue is about money triage — not fixing everything at once, but getting your finances out of panic mode and into “barely stable but breathing” mode.

Think: fewer surprises, fewer 3 a.m. money spirals, and one small sense of control you can hold onto this week.

🧰 Money Moves: 5 Simple Steps for Money Triage (Caregiver Edition)

All resources below are free and publicly accessible.

1️⃣ See the real cost of caregiving (30–45 minutes).
You can’t triage what you can’t see.

• Download this Financial Workbook for Family Caregivers (created with AARP) and use the Money and Health/Housing sections to list what you’re actually spending:

  • Financial Workbook for Family Caregivers (fillable PDF):
    https://aging.idaho.gov/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/aarp-caregiving-financial-workbook-fillable-1.pdf Idaho Commission on Aging+1

Focus on 3 categories only:

• Monthly care costs for parents (meds, supplies, gas, co-pays, etc.)

• Extra kid-related costs (activities, food, school stuff you’re paying for on the fly)

• Your own recurring bills and debt payments

You’re not judging yourself, just getting a clear picture.

2️⃣ Create a “bare-minimum” survival budget.

You don’t need a perfect 27-tab spreadsheet. You need one simple, realistic view of what it takes to keep the lights on right now.

Use one of these free tools to sketch out your bare-minimum budget (housing, food, transportation, medications, debt minimums):

• Financial Steps for Caregivers — Budget Worksheet (PDF):
  https://wiserwomen.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/financial-steps-for-caregivers-budget-worksheet-9.2020.pdf WiserWomen

OR

• Getting Started with Financial Caregiving (article + worksheets):
  https://extension.okstate.edu/fact-sheets/getting-started-with-financial-caregiving.html OSU Extension

Circle or highlight:

• 3 expenses you could cut or pause temporarily, and

• 1 bill you could call and negotiate (cable, phone, credit card, etc.).

3️⃣ Separate “today” money from “future” money.

Caregiver data shows that people in the middle often stop saving entirely — which just adds more stress later. srslivewell.com+1

Pick one tiny automatic move:

• $20–$50/month auto-transfer into a basic emergency fund, or

• Restarting even $25/month into a retirement account you already have.

Tiny is fine. The goal is keeping the habit alive, not hitting a magic number.

4️⃣ Set one boundary that protects your bank account.

This week, choose just one of these:

• Tell an adult child, “I can help with food for the week, but I can’t cover rent.”

• Tell a parent, “I can manage your meds and rides, but I can’t pay this particular bill — let’s look at benefits together.”

• Tell your partner, “I’m scared about money. Can we look at this workbook together for 20 minutes?”

Boundary = less quiet resentment and fewer secret swipes of the credit card.

5️⃣ Make a 15-minute “money check-in” a weekly ritual.

Once a week, set a timer for 15 minutes and:

1. Look at your bank and credit card balances.

2. Write down any caregiving costs you paid out of pocket.

3. Decide one small action (call, cancel, negotiate, ask for help).

If your partner is in the picture, do this together. It keeps money from becoming a constant fight and turns it into a joint mission.

🛠️ Tool of the Week: Caregiver Budget Worksheet You Can Actually Use

This week’s free tool is “Financial Steps for Caregivers: Budget Worksheet” from WISER (Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement).

It’s a simple, practical PDF that walks you through:

• Listing income and expenses,

• Adjusting spending as caregiving ramps up, and

• Thinking about future needs without overwhelm. WiserWomen

👉 Download it here:
https://wiserwomen.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/financial-steps-for-caregivers-budget-worksheet-9.2020.pdf

Print it or fill it in on your computer. Use it as your “bare-minimum budget” map for the next 90 days.

📰 Reads: Free, Helpful Articles on Money & the Sandwich Generation

All three of these are free and publicly accessible (no paywalls, no logins).

1. “The Sandwich Generation: Balancing Care for Parents & Children” (Caregiver Action Network)
   How juggling two generations hits your wallet, work, and health — plus practical tips.
   https://www.caregiveraction.org/sandwich-generation/ Caregiver Action Network

2. “In the Middle: Emotional and Financial Impacts Facing the Sandwich Generation” (Modera Wealth)
   A clear breakdown of the emotional and financial squeeze, and what to watch for.
   https://moderawealth.com/in-the-middle-emotional-and-financial-impacts-facing-the-sandwich-generation/ Modera Wealth Management

3. “Financial Tips for the Sandwich Generation” (SRS LiveWell)
   Straightforward, 2025-dated guidance on budgeting, debt, and planning when you’re stuck between two generations.
   https://www.srslivewell.com/financial-tips-for-the-sandwich-generation srslivewell.com

💬 Connect With People Who Get It

Caregiving can feel isolating — and so can relationship stress.
Join our private Facebook group to talk to others who truly understand.

👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/stuckinthemiddlenews

💸 TOOLS YOU CAN USE: The “What Can I Let Go Of?” Checklist ($9.99)

If your brain is constantly spinning on:

• “What can I stop doing?”

• “What can I drop, delegate, or delay?”

• “How do I make room for anything that isn’t caregiving or work?”

I built a simple, practical tool for you:

🧾 The “What Can I Let Go Of?” Checklist — $9.99

It walks you through:

• What tasks to drop,

• What expenses to cut or renegotiate,

• What emotional weight you don’t have to carry alone.

You can grab it here:

👉 https://briansacks.samcart.com/products/sandwich

It also helps support the cost of running this newsletter so we can keep it free.

💬 Reply & Engage: Your Money Question

Hit reply and tell me (no judgment, I promise):

For example:

• “Helping my parents vs. saving for my own retirement”

• “Helping my kids vs. paying down debt”

• “Paying medical bills vs. paying the mortgage”

I read every response, and your answers help shape future issues.

↗️ Share the Relief

If you know another person who’s caring for parents, kids, and trying not to fall apart financially:

👉 Forward this email to them.

You might be the only person in their life who really sees how hard this is.

P.S. Coming Up…

In an upcoming issue, we’ll talk about how to protect your relationship when money and caregiving are both on fire — including some scripts you can literally read off your phone.

Stay tuned.