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📰 Stuck in the Middle – Issue #173

Date: Monday, April 28, 2025

💥 When They Say “I Don’t Need Help”... But Clearly Do

You’ve probably heard it—or said it—before:

But you see the unwashed dishes piling up. The bruises. The missed medications. The unopened mail. You know something is wrong, but your parent keeps insisting everything is “just fine.”

Sound familiar?

This tension is one of the most painful for those stuck in the middle. On one hand, you don’t want to disrespect your parent’s independence. On the other hand, ignoring the decline can lead to real danger.

🧭 Here’s a Framework That Helps:

• Start with observation, not confrontation.
  “I’ve noticed a few things lately… can I ask how you’ve been feeling?”

• Use open-ended questions.
  “What’s been hardest for you around the house lately?”

• Avoid forcing. Invite participation.
  “Would it help if someone came in just to do the cleaning once a week?”

• Share your own emotional stake.
  “I’m not trying to take away your independence. I just want to make sure you're safe and supported.”

• Offer options, not ultimatums.
  Let them choose between A, B, or C—not between “Do this or else.”

Keeping conversations open—not forcing solutions—often leads to much better outcomes.

🔗 Helpful Resources for You

Helping Aging Parents Who Refuse Help
Learn ways to approach without pushing too hard.
👉 https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2019/aging-parents-refuse-help.html

40 Ways to Start the Care Conversation
Gentle openings for tough discussions about health, driving, and housing.
👉 https://dailycaring.com/40-ways-to-start-the-senior-care-conversation/

Caregiving Help and Self-Care Tips
If you burn out, no one wins. Here's how to care for yourself too.
👉 https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/caregiving-support-and-help.htm

📘 What Can I Let Go Of?

Feeling overwhelmed? Our popular checklist, What Can I Let Go Of?, helps you figure out which tasks really matter—and which you can finally let go of without guilt.

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💬 Join Our Private Facebook Group

You're not alone.
Meet other readers navigating aging parents, kids, careers, and the emotional roller coaster of it all. Share advice, ask questions, or just vent.

👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/stuckinthemiddlenews

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOKS YOU CAN READ IF YOU ARE FRUSTRATED WITH A PARENT OR OLDER RELATIVE

grab a copy here https://amzn.to/3QIhlx7

If you are in this situation I think you will enjoy it!

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